Essa Waxes Patriotic

God damn it, I’m glad to be American.

To get started, I’m not the flag waving, anthem singing, soldier sniffing type. I am fully aware that America has its problems and I frequently threaten to move to Canada because of them.

But, if you’re going to be born with a vagina, America is probably one of the better places to do it.

Kyrgyzstan is probably one of the worst

This video is a documentary of a charming little custom called ‘Bride Kidnapping’. In a basic rundown, a group of men scour the city looking for a girl to snatch off the street. Once they find her, they drag her back to their home, where a group of female relatives try to get the ‘bride scarf’ on her head. If the girl accepts the scarf, then the marriage is deemed binding. While the practice has been outlawed, it is mainly ignored by law enforcement due to the communities’ deep belief in ‘tradition.’

Weirdly, 95% of the girls accept their fate and marry a virtual stranger. It might seem like a high statistic, however, most of these girls are bred to be obedient from birth.

Which leads me to question; how fucking brainwashed would I have been if I was born there? Would I have stood my ground and said no, like the bad ass second girl, Ainagul, did? Or would I have fallen into 95% and just gone along with it to avoid bringing shame on my family?

Then you’d all be reading a boring ass blog filled with bread recipes and sheep herding tips.

Instead, I am a fully westernized, happily unmarried, American girl who gets her bread from a bag, like normal people. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a sheep, and like Ainagul, I’m definitely not one. If a dude tried to pull that shit on me, all he would get is a face full of pepper spray and a nut kick that would require testicle retraction surgery.

God damn it, it feels good to be an American. Hmph, maybe I am a patriot.

Oh, say can you see…