Author Archives: essaalroc

About essaalroc

I am an aspiring writer, forgetful mother and disgruntled employee. I enjoy acerbic wit, political discourse and strawberry ring-pops.

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

One of my favorite books is Tortilla Flat. You may have heard of it, you may not have, but it’s mainly a story about how change isn’t always good. It’s one of my favorite books because of one particular story … Continue reading

Posted in books, coding, comedy, humor, tortilla flat, wordpress, writing | 3 Comments

Or You Could Try Not Being a Dick

Check out the below eye roll inducing video. For those who don’t want to watch, some Texas idiot decided based on his extensive legal expertise of…well, not being a lawyer, that’s for damn sure, he was going to a disobey … Continue reading

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Presenting National Day Drunk Day!!!

So today is “National Donut Day.” I’ve been hearing about it all day, watching Dunking Donuts and Starbucks use it as a marketing scheme, and I have to admit, I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed because while overeaters get the opportunity to … Continue reading

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TLC, Like It Or Not, You Had A Responsibility

There’s a well-known phenomenon out there. It’s called “social proof.” It’s been used in psychology, marketing, and as a defense in criminal trials. Simply stated, it means that people tend to assume that the people around them are more knowledgeable … Continue reading

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The Mystery Bruise

I have a bruise on my ass. It’s not a little one. It’s one of those scary “Tupac black” bruises that leaves pasty white people like me wondering if we have leukemia. It’s large and black, and in the shape … Continue reading

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Essa Buys a New Phone

It was an early Friday morning when I received an ominous text message from T-Mobile. Dear valued customer; Please note that the outrageously out of date phone that you’re currently using will no longer be supported by our network as … Continue reading

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Five Easy Ways to Fail As a Writer

Hey everyone, back again from a short hiatus. It’s been a busy winter and I’m working on something new, so posts will be few and far between, but they’ll happen. The other night, I was perusing a writer’s forum and … Continue reading

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Blog Hiatus

I have a lot of projects going on, plus I need to concentrate on my other pen name for a bit. Too many things on my plate, and one has to go, at least for awhile. So for now… Hope … Continue reading

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The Ghost In The House

Take a look through my archives and note how many of my posts talk about how heavily I drink. If you will, you might start to assume that I’m an alcoholic. I’m not. Not even remotely, but the symptoms are … Continue reading

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Why Buy The Cow? – Tips for Getting Clips

It genuinely amazes me how many people email me asking for free writing, simply for exposure. Look people, if I wanted exposure, I’d travel down to New Orleans and show my tits to a stranger. Weirdly, they aren’t quite so … Continue reading

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