Home » Uncategorized » Dear England; I Don’t Give a Shit About Your Royal Family

Dear England; I Don’t Give a Shit About Your Royal Family

I get it. You guys are proud. For the first time in well…ever, your royal family doesn’t fully resemble horses. In fact, they’re actually kind of cute. Good for you guys.

Now, can you take them back please? I’m a little tired of hearing about them every time Kate puts on a new fucking hat or they decide to go to a polo game. Shocker. Rich people going to a polo game. Thanks for the update CNN.

Look, I know it isn’t really your fault England, but I’m tired of appealing to the American media. They just decide whatever story their going to shove down our throats and we have to take it. So, I’m begging you England; take them back. Stop sending them on tour, and then getting pissed whenever someone takes a picture of them. Just stick them in the castle, or wherever they’re suppose to live, and have them come out on the balcony and occasionally do that stiff little waving thing you guys perfected.

Also, please send more pictures of Harry naked.


Concerned American Citizen

15 thoughts on “Dear England; I Don’t Give a Shit About Your Royal Family

    • no joke, this is torturing me in a way you can’t even understand! On the upside, my site hits are up. Most popular search term? “I don’t give a shit about the royal family”. Its nice to know there are like minded individuals out there,

  1. There was me thinking it was just us Brits who are bored to tears with hearing about Kate’s latest coat.

    On the bright side, we can all have a laugh when said Royal Baby appears and the headlines are ‘Will and Kate have a baby’ and all us sarcastic folk can say “Oh, not horse or an otter? A baby, disappointing”

    • Now, if it was a horse or an otter, I would be the first one reading that story! :) I feel for all the poor Brits out there dealing with this. If we’re getting beaten over the heads with it in the US, then you guys must be hearing about nothing else.

      • Yeah it was considered ‘breaking news’ over here, nevermind anything else going on in the world a lady is pregnant.
        I don’t understand why the media thinks the rest of the world is interested.

  2. Christ did it just get worse today then! Can I apply for asylum in the US via this site????.

    • I don’t want to think about what you guys are even going through right now. I know in the US, for next next 6 months, I’m going to have to listen to “the new prince spit up” or “prince rushed to emergency room with ear infection!!!” You’d think he was the damn baby Jesus.

      I’m seriously considering a PayPal donation site so my followers can donate to get English citizens out on refugee visas until this kid stops being interesting to the press.

      • I’m pretty sure baby Jesus is exactly how everyone celebrating the bugger is regarding him. At the rate the media’s going I expect they’ll be making up North Korea style bullshit about double rainbows and swallows heralding his birth.

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